I am "Mom" to four fabulous, entertaining children, who always provide me with something to write about. I am a lover of sports, the written word, and especially my family. Sarcasm is my best friend. While I work full time, my true passion is writing.

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“Sanctimommy”

One of my favorite websites is the Merriam-Webster Dictionary/Thesaurus site. I love to check out new words and look up synonyms and antonyms—I need to get a life, I know.

A recently featured word that caught my eye was “SANCTIMOMMY”, an obvious hybrid of the words “sanctimony” and “mommy”. By definition: “A mother who points out perceived faults in the parenting of others”.

The irony of my finding this word when I did is that I had just been called a “bad mom” by another mom! Now, granted, I can understand her viewpoint, I respect her opinion, but I don’t believe in unequivocal “good/bad” titles; I am a real “gray area” girl. I am certain that there are things that I do that some parents may consider inappropriate, in this case, letting my kids watch PG-13 movies before they are 13. I, for one, thought it was funny when my then 3 year-old son would greet people with his arms raised, show his muscles, kiss each bicep and exclaim “Two tickets to the gun show”. Or the time we were in a packed Wal-mart restroom and Daniel yelled from his stall, “I didn’t have corn!”

Inappropriate? Maybe. Harmful? I think not. I could understand if I were leaving my child unattended in a hot car or punishing my kids by burning them with lit cigarettes, but I guess it is all subjective.

I know that there have been times when I have passed judgment on other parents; only to find out I did not know the whole story. Or, I’ll hear from my kids about someone else’s child who was caught doing something, and I start to question his or her parents’ child-raising skills; only to find out my kid was involved, too!

I guess my whole issue with being a “Sanctimommy” is that, as parents, we all will make mistakes. There really isn’t any benefit to passing judgment on someone else’s child unless yours is named, well, JESUS CHRIST. I know that the friends that I grew up with, the ones that I have known since we were kids, we all made stupid choices, and it wasn’t necessarily our parent’s fault. All of our parents had different rearing “styles”, but all the children wound up making mistakes. Some were worse than others, but we all grew up knowing that our parents loved us unconditionally and supported us through good times and bad. I think that if we provide that unconditional support for our kids, regardless of the mistakes we make and they make, won’t that be what gets them through life’s every day hardships?

While letting Daniel watch “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” may not be every parent’s idea of a “good” choice, it is MY choice and I will have to deal with any ramifications that come of it. By locking kids in a tower, there is no guarantee that they will be locked away from the world’s bad influences but it is guaranteed that they will one day want out of that tower. It’s equipping them to deal with those bad outside influences that make the difference.

So call me a “bad” mom if you want. It is my belief that my children will prove you wrong.

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Comments (9)

  1. press releases 09/07/2011 at 12:44 am

    Aw, this was a very nice post. In thought I wish to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… however what can I say… I procrastinate alot and in no way appear to get one thing done.

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  7. Lframpton 10/17/2010 at 2:21 am

    Although I do think Will Farrow is NOT the best choice of male role models or movies for children (Although he was more appropriate and cute in Elf) I also think parents and children alike should understand the difference between “bad” or “poor” behavior and choices from the “bad” person themselves. Children then grow up thinking oh I am bad instead of I made a poor or bad choice and it carries itself into adulthood and affects their self esteem tremendously along the way.
    The writer of this story however, I believe is an awesome and “good” person and mother. Although she may not be a saint in this lifetime yet she has done the best she can do and she puts her children’s needs before herself.

  8. Mahgwet 10/15/2010 at 11:41 pm

    OMG Jackie!!! Brilliant! Thank you so much for being YOU!!! BTW-Burger King & shopping cart…not a choice our parents would have liked us to make!

  9. Lori V 10/15/2010 at 5:32 am

    Amen to that!!!!! Seeing as how I was in line to buy 6 -15 yr olds tickets to an R rated movie and then leave them there LOL!