It’s the little moments that count with our kids and I am trying to be very intentional with our time together.  I make sure that I am playful with him even when I am trying to work or clean house.  He can help me in his own way and he feels valued. Our family is very playful and so play times often come up just in normal situations.  Even though I am exhausted, I try to make the time special in a small way.

Traditions or routines are very important to children and special needs children look forward to them.  I try to read to him from a “special book” of collected stories each night.  He has to earn the book with his good behavior but we make sure we spend time together before bedtime reading, singing or playing pat a cake. These little moments are what he will remember when he grows older.  Maybe he won’t remember a particular day, but he will cherish the time he spent with me.  These are also special times for me, too as I slowly watch my son grow up and begin to mature.

Mother’s Day is a gentle reminder of our sacrifice and even if your child will never be able to speak to you, you can tell that they love you.  Mothers just know.  Sometimes people put us up on a pedestal because they can’t fathom doing what we do, but we aren’t saints.  We have our flaws and our moments of weakness.  But we keep trudging on because our child needs us more than ever.  Frustration is probably our greatest flaw because we are frustrated on many levels.  But it all goes away when our child smiles or has an amazing break through.  That is why we do it.  We love our children.

I am very blessed to have a special needs child and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Yes, we all dream of a “normal” child but my son is special in his own way and gives me so much joy in return.  Our children are blessings and challenges all wrapped up in our child.  We have a connection that cannot be duplicated or taken away.  Each Mother’s Day I remember how blessed I am to have my son and how blessed that I am his mother.  Happy Mother’s Day to all you blessed Mothers of Special Needs Children!

Summertime in Arizona is very hot and often restrictive in what we can reasonably do outside with our special needs children.   Creativity is often needed in choosing activities that are suitable and takes into consideration their special needs.  There aren’t a lot of options for younger children and sometimes cost is a factor.  However, I have put together a list of some activities and excursions that will engage and be somewhat cost conscious.

Bank of America hosts free admission to specific museums once a month.  If there are specific museums that you would love to take your child to, you should research when or if they are a part of this event.  You will have to be a Bank of America customer in order to participate, but it is a great opportunity for you and your family to have fun.  Be prepared to arrive early and stand in lines for the more popular sites.  The Children’s Museum of Phoenix is one of these museums that participates and is often packed.

National Parks typically have one or two days of the year in which they have free admission to the general public.  Take advantage of this perk and visit a park that interests you and your family.  If you weren’t planning on taking a vacation because of funds, camping is a wonderful option.  Keep in mind that you will need to plan ahead to make sure your child can be accommodated while traveling.  Even if you can’t stay overnight in the park or if you have to stay in a hotel nearby, it is worth the trip for quality time and fun with your family.  Although people are looking at taking more “staycations” this year due to higher gas prices and higher airlines fees, this is a low key trip and you get to enjoy a national treasure!  Getting away from the stress of your everyday life will allow you and your family a needed breather and you can handle your life better.

Library excursions are also a great way to allow your child a way to escape the heat.  Check your local library for hours as cities adjust times again now that they are approaching the end of their fiscal year in July.  Many libraries often free activities like puppet shows, story times, and many other cool things that your local library can dream up.  By exposing them to books and reading, you open up a new world of opportunities and imagination.  All libraries are ADA compliant, so your child can participate in most activities with some accommodations, if needed.

Swimming programs in local parks and recreation are often low cost options for families to introduce their child to the water.  If your child is unable to walk or has additional physical disabilities, this is a great opportunity for them to feel free.  Many children and adults with physical disabilities have expressed how important it was for them to be in the pool and how it made them feel to be free to move around without their wheelchairs or other aids.  Even if your child is fully able to walk, this allows them a chance to explore other senses and abilities.  And, it’s fun!

Check out local churches, synagogues, and temples to see what summer activities they might have available for the general public.  Some offer tumbling times or special activities that are free.  Many are open to special needs children and can offer them additional activities geared toward their abilities.  You will be very surprised by what is offered in the community.  It’s a great time to meet other families who might be going through some of the same or similar challenges that you are experiencing.

Although it’s extremely hot here, you can find things that will allow your child to explore other activities that will allow them to learn and have fun in doing so.  Be creative and enjoy your time with your child!

It’s that time of year when schools open their doors to parents for Parent Teacher Conferences.   Even if you have had an IEP within the past few months, it is still beneficial for you to meet with the teacher and therapists.  It’s different than an IEP in that they can sit down and go over what they have actually been working on in the classroom versus just hearing about goals.  If there are any issues that you see on your end as a parent, this is the time to bring it up and explore options to take care of it.

When you speak with the therapists, ask them what specific techniques they are using to work with your child and what you can do at home to help them improve.  If you are an engaged parent, you can take those ideas and work with your child at home.  If your school uses special equipment or special technology, check out what your options are to obtain it or borrow it if it is available through the library.

If you live in Phoenix and you have a current IEP, you can go to the public library downtown and borrow various therapy toys and tools to use with your child during the summer or during the year.  There is no limit as to how many times you can check things out.  If you go once to the main library and create a list of items you want to request, then you can request them through your closest library instead of having to go there every time.  This is a great benefit for you to be able to utilize some of the same tools the therapists use without having to purchase everything.

Another way to acquire needed therapy items is to ask the therapist if there are other low cost solutions available or suggestions where to purchase these items.  Sometimes they might know where you can get some of these items.  If your employer offers programs that provide discounts for computers or other types of discounts, you should explore these options to keep your costs down.  Sometimes it’s as simple as purchasing special tweezers that is available in the toy section that lights up but it helps their pincher grasp when they grab worms with it.  Be creative and ask for suggestions.  Therapists and teachers want to help your child and their training can be useful to you to gain knowledge to help you help your child.

Most teachers will also share specific examples of your child’s work.  If they use websites that have some of this curriculum on it, find out what they are and use them as well.  The more practice and guidance they receive from you, the faster they will pick up skills.  Crayola has a wonderful website that allows teachers, parents and kids to print various types of studies.  This is just one particular website that is a perfect place to start.  I use it a lot to print coloring pages for holidays and various specific topics.

Parent Teacher Conferences are not something you should dread.  Instead, use the time to find out how your child is doing and request the help that you need so your child can succeed in school.   It’s so worth it!

This month Autism is thrown into the spotlight and hopefully people will become educated on who the faces of Autism can be and what the different shades of Autism are along the spectrum.  Autism is found in several generations of my husband’s family and we were concerned that our son was following that path.  For those of you who already know if your child is autistic, a family member is autistic or you want to learn more about Autism, here is a basic overview of what autism is and various support agencies that offer resources and information if you need it or if you wish to volunteer.

The actual official definition of Autism is being looked at to be changed and it does affect how insurance companies cover various therapies, doctors and procedures.  The definition may be narrowed instead of widened to now discriminate against children that would have been covered previously but still need those services.  For example:  Our son needs speech therapy but our insurance will not cover it unless he is severely compromised in eating.  Eating is just a component of speech, but the speech therapy that addressed his particular speech issues is not covered.  This is a major issue that we have to address as a family since we cannot afford to pay full price for speech therapy.

Mayo Clinic  and Autism Speaks have excellent detailed definitions of Autism. It covers things I won’t be able to cover here, so check out their full definition.  The three things that affect children who are autistic are social interaction, speech and language.   Diagnosis of autistic children is beginning earlier and earlier now that more people are aware of early childhood education.  Our son was referred to the state early prevention department before he was 2 years old.  Tests followed and specialists were visited.  Awareness of Autism is increasing when more parents are noticing if their child is not progressing in the same manner as most kids. Although some kids are slower than others, there are tremendous differences in children that are autistic.

Autism is not a death sentence or a life sentence anymore.  Children who are autistic can often go on and lead productive lives.  My sister-n-law is autistic and she is very capable of taking a bus by herself, working at a grocery store, and interacting with people.  It’s not always easy for her and thankfully she has a job coach that can help walk her through some of the challenges in dealing with people on a day to day basis.  However, she has support and not all people with autism are supported in the manner she has been throughout her life.

The Autism Spectrum is wide and varied.  When you hear someone talk about having a child on the spectrum, it could mean almost anything.  The child could possibly have Asperger’s Syndrome and struggles interacting with other children.  There are such a wide range of possibilities that could show up as you work with your child.

There has not been any confirmed link to vaccines and autism.  There is a lot of misinformation out there including celebrities who claim that their child was cured, but there is no concrete evidence that you can cure a child with autism.  Usually a “cure” is due to other issues that were never diagnosed that cleared when various foods or therapies have been employed.  Do your homework and pay attention to your child.  Your child is unique and has unique issues that you as their parent can usually only see.  Find a doctor that you trust and understands you and your child.

Here is a limited list of agencies and support groups for families and autistic children.

Autism Speaks - This is a great resource for families and doctors.  They follow up on current research, policy and give support to families.

Autism Society of America -This is another great resource for families and people who have autism.  It gives you a lot of great information.

Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership -This is a great resource geared more for Aspberger’s but it also gives relevant information for families dealing with buraucracy in their own state.

Easter Seals -This is one of the original groups dedicated to helping families and those with disabilities.  This should be one of your first places to start research as their organization has been doing this for quite some time.

This is just a very small list of those organizations that can help you, give information to the general public and allow you to give back.  Hopefully, this will help you begin the journey to understanding Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorders.

There haven’t been a lot of television shows or movies that deal with aspects of special needs.  Fortunately, that is changing.  NBC’s ”Parenthood” has a child with Aspberger’s Syndrome (one of the autism spectrums).  This show has highlighted some of the challenges and some happy moments that families have with Aspberger’s children.   In my opinion, it has allowed more dialogue to occur about this sometimes frustrating and exhausting struggle in families.  Although the child doesn’t have Asperger’s Syndrome in real life, he has discussed on many occasions how he has had to study other children who have it.

Mary and Max -This is not your usual movie going fare since it is an Indie picture and a foreign film all wrapped up in one unique story.  It is done all in stop motion animation and is sometimes hard to stay focused, but the storyline is heartbreaking and touching.  Mary and Max stumble across each other in letters touching each other’s hearts and lives.  Max has Asperger’s Syndrome and the movie really touches on how it affects his daily life and how he sees the world.  If you ever wondered about the complexities of this disability, this is a must see movie.

Only God Could Hear Me – This is a documentary about 4 people who live with hearing disabilities and how they cope in a hearing world.  It showcases a special program for them to use to assist with living and coping in the world.  I haven’t seen this movie, but I have heard it is interesting.

Glee -This show has showcased an actress who has down syndrome.  The show has her interacting with all of the characters in some respect and her storyline was added not long after the show began.  If you can get beyond the teen angst, this show actually shows that someone with disabilities can be a star.

Touch - This is a new show from Fox that I am really looking forward to seeing.  If you are a fan of 24, then it is a must see because of Kiefer Sutherland.  His son is mute but their connection is through numbers and how he sees the world.  It really is interesting in how they try to connect and communicate.

Autism:  The Musical – Although this documentary was done about 5 years ago, it is still an important movie for parents of autistic children.  The movie is based on 5 autistic children that work together to make a musical. It won 2 Primetime Emmys in 2007 and is recognized as a great inspiration for parents who are grappling with some of the issues of normalcy.

These are just some of the many, many films, shows and plays that are being produced now.  It is nice to see our children portrayed in a way that other children can see that they just want to have friends and “be normal.”  As a parent, it’s easy to dismiss something as just strictly entertainment and some of the above are mostly entertainment.  But this is a topic that has long been taboo, off-limits, or misunderstood.  It’s refreshing to see these children and adults portrayed in such positive and engaging ways.  Enjoy these selections.  If you have some other favorites, please feel free to post them in your comments and share what you loved about them.

St. Patrick’s Day is fun for kids to dress all in green and try not to get pinched!  There are a lot of great crafts and things you can do to engage your child in the holiday without involving the traditional ale.  My son has absolutely loved doing crafts not just for this column but even in other settings.  These crafts will require assistance depending upon the level of disability of your child.

Glitter Shamrocks

Find a shamrock pattern and print the amount that you wish to make.  Cut out the shamrocks or have your child cut them out if they are able to do so.  I would layer your work space.  Larger paper on the bottom and a smaller 8 1/2 x 11 paper as the main workspace so it will be an easier clean up.  You can either use glue glitter or glue and glitter.  I do not recommend using stick glue as the glitter doesn’t stick well to it.  They can do a design with the glue or just cover all of the shamrock.  Put the glitter on the glue and then shake off the excess glitter.  Put it aside to dry on cookie racks or another similar location.

Netted Leprechaun Trap

Find a small box that you can cover with shamrock scrapbook paper or create your own design.  You can also create a rainbow on the box to create an illusion of gold at the end of the rainbow.  You can use gold buttons or spray paint noodles gold for the pot of gold.  You can also use green netting on the outside of the trap with one side of the box being used as the trap door.  Prop it open with a stick painted gold.  Be creative and have your child decorate it to their satisfaction.

Mickey and Minnie St. Patrick’s Day Headbands 

The directions for this cute craft is on the website, but it is something that you will need to really help them with.  It’s a little more difficult in terms of using the hot glue gun, but they will have fun wearing them!

Rainbow Handprints

You can either use colored paper, paint or rainbow color craft foam.  (I prefer the colored paper.)  Trace your child’s hands on the various colors of the rainbow.  Cut them out or paint first, then cut.  Let the paint dry first before you do the next step.  Take a white piece of paper and glue them onto the paper in the shape of a rainbow. You can always add a pot of gold if you so desire by using glitter or gold painted objects.

Fruit Loop Rainbow

If you happen to have Fruit Loops or any of the generic cereal around, this is a great craft.  It helps with the fine motor skills.  Separate the different colors into various bowls. On a sheet of paper, draw a wide bodied rainbow so the fruit loops have space to be glued.  Glue the colored fruit loops on the part of the rainbow that matches that color.  You can let it dry and hang it on your refrigerator or give it as a gift to a family member.

Shamrock Tree Craft

You will need paper and crayons for the trunk portion.  To create the trunk, trace your child’s arm from the elbow up including the fingers.  Print the shamrock template onto green colored paper.  Cut them out and set them aside.  Have your child color the tree trunk, then glue the various shamrocks onto the tree.  Your child can then create a rainbow, grass, clouds, etc.  If you wish to be tactile, you can use cotton balls for the clouds, real grass for the grass, etc.

These are just a few of the really great crafts you can do with your child.  If you like to search the internet, make sure that the crafts you pick to do with your child are appropriate to his/her level of abilities and don’t be afraid to dig in with them and get messy!  Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

This is the time of year where most parents think about what they want their children to experience when they are not in school.  Summer is just a few short months away and the best way to beat the heat is to plan ahead with activities.  It’s especially important for special needs children to be a part of something this summer even if you aren’t planning to take trips.  I have compiled a short list of camps that your child can do based in Arizona and California.  Good luck with the search!

Camp Candelight -If your child had a primary diagnosis of epilepsy and is between 8-15 years of age, then this is the camp for them!  It’s sponsored by the Epilepsy Foundation of Arizona and the camp is staffed with an onsite neurologist, several nurses and counselors.  Besides the typical camp experiences, they also provide the kids with practical tips on dealing with epilepsy.

Camp Paivika -This camp runs year round for AbilityFirst, so there are many programs you can choose from throughout the year if the summer doesn’t work for your family.  They have programs for kids, teens and adults with mild to severe physical and developmental disabilities.  In addition to the standard camp programs, they also teach them life skills and social skills.  It also allows caregivers a chance to relax while the kids are being cared for by trained adults.

Camp Civitan -It is  wheelchair accessible for children and adults who are developmentally disabled in the pines. The Civitan Foundation has a lot of other programs including respite programs that are perfect for families to use.  The foundation has plans to have a working farm on the campgrounds in the future, but right now campers can enjoy all sorts of camp activities with guest instructors and even Smokey the Bear.

Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of camps in Arizona for special needs kids.  These are overnight camps and so it allows you to have a break from being a caregiver.  I am sure that there are a few others out there, but it will take some time to research them.  Hopefully this is a good start in deciding what camp to send your child to this summer.  Have fun researching!

I remember as a child all of the different crafts that I did in school and at home around the holidays.  Valentine’s Day was a big one for us because that means we got to decorate and play with hearts.  As a little girl, I loved hearts and glitter!  You can recreate that fun and togetherness with your child no matter what their disability.  All kids love getting their hands messy.

Before you decide what project you want to do, I recommend plastering the work area with old newspapers or craft paper.  This will allow you to protect your table and have an easy clean up.   Have your glitter, pre-cut hearts, glue, etc. ready to go in child friendly containers.  Butter containers are great and so are the plastic baby food containers.

Here are a few fun Valentine crafts that any kid can do with or without your assistance:

Glitter/Paper Hearts

Needed:  Glue, Different colors of glitter or cut up shapes of different colored paper, different colored hearts, extra paper.

Pick out a heart, cover it in glue(liquid glue is generally easiest for special needs kids) and have your child put the glitter or paper on the heart where they want it.  Some kids create a design and others just dump the glitter.  It helps to put another full sheet of paper under the project so you can dump the glitter that is extra back into your dish so you don’t waste all of your glitter.  Once your child has finished decorating the heart, put it aside to dry.  Sometimes a cookie rack is helpful to put the artwork.

Puffball Hearts

Needed:  Assorted colors of hearts, Assorted colors of puffballs, glue.

Have your child pick a heart and then do the glue design.  Since you have assorted colors of puffballs, they can pick and choose the colors and location on the heart.  It’s neat to watch them figure out how to design the heart.  Some kids might have issues picking up the puffballs.  You can use tweezers or small tongs to help them pick them up.  Once your child is done, you can put them aside to dry.

Fridge Heart Frames

Need:  Hearts sized close to the pictures you wish to use, picture, scrapbooking sticky strips, stickers, glitter, candy, small magnet, etc.

Pick the heart and the picture you wish to use.  Cut out a hole in the heart to match the picture.  For example, make sure that your child’s face is showing but don’t cut out too much so they can’t decorate.  Put the picture aside and let them put stickers, glue, glitter, candy hearts or whatever they want to put on the heart.  Set aside to dry.  Once it is dry, attach the picture with glue or scrapbooking strips to the heart.  Then, glue the small magnet to the back.  If it is a large heart, you might need two magnets.  (Tip:  I reuse the magnets that come on various ads.  I collect them over time and use them for projects like this. )

These are a few ideas that can be done with your child and make great gifts for family members.  We usually send the crafts to family members that aren’t in the area or even his grandparents.  It’s also a nice touch to send to family members who don’t have a significant other.  It lets them know that they are loved.  Have fun and happy crafting!

Most kids love animals, but special needs kids tend to gravitate towards them faster than most kids.  Animals have been used in therapy sessions for kids who have post tramautic stress disorder, abuse,  and various other afflictions.  There is a therapy ranch in Nevada that strictly used horses and trained therapists to help children learn to copy in their everyday lives.  My son’s Developmental Pediatrician’s office now offers therapy with a dog to patients.

Animals can be used to help kids develop skills to not only take care of them, but also teach the children to begin taking care of themselves.  It gives them a sense of purpose and the ability to see that they are valuable.  The unconditional love that flows from animals helps children feel better about themselves.

We usually try to take our son to every petting zoo that is available for children no matter what type of event.  He just loves animals so much.  In fact, he’s ridden more horses than I ever have!  The animals seem to calm him down when it comes to external emotions, but he is still excited to see them!

There is a movement in therapy right now to incorporate assistive animals with children who have autism and developmental disabilities in their classrooms.  New Jersey recently signed into law where a school has to allow a specially trained dog to accompany children throughout their school day.  The dog must be licensed as a service animal and meet health regulations with their shots.

This type of therapy can be beneficial to students with disabilities because the animals can be trained to sense when the child is frustrated, disturbed or even disoriented.  The animal can help guide and calm them in new places or with new experiences.  In addition, a service animal to be trained to sense seizures or other physical ailments of the child and allow the caretakers to be warned.

They are continually studying the positive effects animals can have on special needs children and I hope that someday it becomes more acceptable in the mainstream schools to have animals onsite for all kids to interact with on a daily basis.  Because most children are city kids and aren’t exposed to a variety of animals at home, I feel that it would allow them to develop other skills that will help them in their daily lives.  This is definitely something that would benefit society as a whole, but it’s definitely a movement to watch.

Have you ever wondered what a classroom that is designed by therapists and engineers to incorporate disabilities into the learning environment would look like?  Did you even think it was a possibility?  If your child has ADD,  ADHD, can’t sit still or can’t focus, then you might see something in the future that will transform the traditional special needs classroom.

A typical classroom has a standard desk and chairs. But what if the chairs were designed to help the student who can’t sit still all day in a classroom?  What if  the chairs also functioned as a desk if they stood up to learn?  Moving around the classroom to various other workstations would help them to focus and they would then be able to learn more.

I29 is a Dutch Architectural Firm that uses a wire based concept for their furniture.   The theory behind this concept centers around stimulating the students to figure out the different functions of the furniture and thus it helps them to concentrate in the classroom.  However, this theory has not yet been proven and it has yet to be tried here in the United States.

It is an interesting theory that you can redesign furniture to fit the needs of the student instead of the furniture fitting the needs of the school funding and space.  I think if this is explored a little more, it might turn out to be beneficial.  Not every solution will fit every kid, but this is a positive step in the right direction of thinking outside the box.